Upcoming Parent Teacher Conference: Things Your Teachers May Share

Your teachers have now spent 5.5 months getting to know your child. At the parent-teacher conference they will share notes with you about how your child is developing and learning skills that they will need as they move ahead. They will also chat with you about normal development (gross motor, fine motor, speech, social-emotional, etc.) and where your child falls on the development continuum. One thing they will definitely share is lots of observations about your child’s behavior at school. Preschool is as much about what they are learning as it is about discovering how they learn.

One thing to note is that your child may learn and behave differently in school than at home. This is a normal difference in behaviors between settings, it is also useful information as we all get to know your child as a learner. The classroom is a busy, noisy, social space. Home is generally quieter, sometimes slower, and (in the best of cases) a space where your child is surrounded by the people they love and feel the most safe with. Please don’t be surprised if you hear that your child is an angel at school, when you know he/she is incredibly cranky at home, OR, that your child struggles at school in ways he/she doesn’t at home. It is normal that we function differently given how different the two environment are.

Our goal in preschool is to help your child and you learn how they learn best. This will help them love and feel confident in school. For most children, preschool is easy and joyous and a teacher’s job is simply to create novel and interesting activities to help children acquire school skills and knowledge. When preschool is hard for a child, that’s when teachers start trying to figure out what is going on that may be causing a child to struggle. Helping parents identify when their child is struggling in the social setting of school and how to support them with accommodations or early intervention is key for later school success. Early intervention goes a long way (an ounce of prevention yields a pound of cure). Most skills are learned through practice and repetition. The earlier we get that practice and repetition, the better and stronger those skills will become. That said, we often avoid the tasks and skills where we struggle the most. So without the early intervention, children will begin to avoid tasks or not be able to access an activity that is a required building block for later learning. This is why teachers will recommend consulting with outside experts if they observe certain behaviors. The quicker we can gather information on what helps a child learn and grow, the sooner we can give them the support they need to thrive in school.

With that in mind I want to share some observation and/or recommendations your child’s teachers may discuss during conferences related to specific areas of development:

VISION- When watching a child navigate a classroom or playground, or choose activities, your teachers may notice that they tilt their head when looking at an object, or hold objects close to or away from their face, or that they run into things often or trip more than expected for their age. All of these behaviors may bring your teachers to talk to you about having your child’s vision checked by an ophthalmologist or optometrist. Children can have vision acuity issues (which most pediatricians can check) or ocular-motor issues (that are better diagnosed by an eye specialist). Vision issues are important to diagnose quickly and early, as it dramatically impacts our brain growth and development.

HEARING- Teachers will notice a child isn’t always responding to their name, or has difficulty pronouncing certain sounds. A child may appear inattentive, or defiant. These behaviors will usually have a teacher checking in to see if your child has had a recent hearing check up. Hearing issues are of concern, because of the way our brain and ears work together to learn sound and language. Even a brief period of hearing loss can have effect on learning and a child’s success in school.

SPEECH- Many speech issues (letter swapping, mispronunciations, lisps, even stuttering) will improve as your child grows. However, between the ages of 2 and 5, your child’s speech should become more and more intelligible to others and these issues should start to fade as your cute little toddler starts sounding more and more like a school-age child. Your teachers may notice that your child is struggling to be understood by others as they get older, and that they are getting frustrated or that they still have certain speech patterns that are less mature than their age. They may also notice that your child struggles to find the words to communicate back and forth with their peers in useful ways. All of these observations may lead your teachers to recommending a screening with a speech-language pathologist.

SLEEP/SNORING/BREATHING PROBLEMS- They may notice cranky/tired behavior or revved up engines that crash as quickly as they fly. They may notice a child that is frequently absent due to infections. They may ask you about your child’s sleep at home and whether they snore or wake up often. All of these can be signs that your child needs a consult with an Ear, Nose and Throat specialist. Sleep is vital for good growth and development, BUT it is also required to have emotional, physical and mental stamina AND the attention required for learning at school. The link between lack of sleep and ADHD or ADHD-like behaviors is well-documented. Success in school is 100% tied to good sleep. So teachers will mention if they see behaviors impacting your child during the school day that might be influenced by disrupted sleep.

GROSS/FINE MOTOR- As children’s bodies grow, so too does their physical independence and their ability to move around the classroom, manage their belongings, participate in gross and fine motor activities. In the classroom, low gross motor may be seen when a child is having trouble navigating all the areas of the playground, or difficulty sitting upright at circle or in a chair. While many of these things will develop with time and practice, some students need to see a physical or occupation therapist to help ensure they are meeting milestones in a way that prevents them from falling too far behind their peers in development. A child with difficulty attending because they can’t sit upright without focusing lots of effort on the act of sitting will eventually fall behind on comprehension and acquisition. A child unable to navigate the playground and classroom with ease may eventually fall behind on their social emotional development as they avoid things that are difficult to navigate or playing with other children that are moving more quickly and with less effort.

SENSORY INTEGRATION- From infancy through preschool, your child’s sensory system is also developing and learning about the world around. Your vision, hearing, taste, touch, and smell are the most commonly known senses, but we also have interoception (the sense of sensations inside your body) and proprioception (your sense of your body in space). Your teachers may notice your child runs into things or hugs harder than they intend. They may not participate in certain projects, or like certain foods/sounds/smells. They may not enjoy the noise level during a classroom activity. Avoiding typical school activities because of a sensory integration issue may cause a child to get behind in learning school skills. Teachers may talk to you about accommodations they make for your child to help them be successful: for example, some of our classrooms have noise cancelling headphones so a child can opt to wear them if they are bothered by the noise level. Or teachers may introduce a sensory activity more slowly to help a reluctant child participate. If the classroom accommodations need to be supplemented, teachers may suggest you consult with an occupational therapist who can often help “integrate” the senses and make school “feel” better for your child.

POTTY TRAINING AND BATHROOM ISSUES - The good news about this topic, as that most issues in this domain are resolved before your child finishes preschool. Your teachers are here to help you determine when your child is showing signs of readiness for potty training, and when potty training goes sideways, your teachers are here to offer tips and advice. By 3, most children have started the process, but may still be having trouble or accidents at school. Your teachers are here to help you determine if a child is just needing time to learn to listen to their body and pause for a break if it is telling them to go (many children have accidents because they get wrapped up in play and don’t “hear” their bodies until it’s too late), OR, if there is something else going on that is causing issues toileting at school (e.g., constipation, urinary tract infections, diet-induced difficulties, or gross motor issues). In some cases, a consult with your pediatrician or a gastroenterologist will be recommended to help your child gain success (particularly if your child is in pain, holding their urine or stools for long periods of time, having overly loose stools or other things that may be causing them discomfort or embarrassment at school). While 2-year-olds and most young 3s thankfully rarely feel shame or embarrassment about bathroom issues, older 3s and 4s start to notice if they are having issues and their peers are not, so your teachers may discuss with you ways to get your child support to be successful.

Tips for a Never-Ending Cold and Flu Season

Many of us were hit with our first serious cold of the season these last few weeks. While many were not tested, I am assuming that RSV is what most of us had during the month of October. You may have read in The Washington Post about the increase in RSV cases we are seeing this Fall, or how experts are expecting a busy cold and flu season with possible upticks in flu, COVID and RSV all at once. To some extent, this is largely unavoidable. These upticks are based on a population of people (your children, but also all of us) having poorly prepared immune systems since we were living in masks the last two years. Yes, masks and social distancing help prevent spread of illness, but so too does having regular seasonal spread of illnesses, as it allows many of us to prime our immune systems and prevents an entire population from having suppressed immunity and getting sick all at the same time. So this uptick is an expected result from all the illness mitigation we did the last couple of years. While some of this is unavoidable, we want to feel like we are not completely hopeless in mitigating the worst impacts of illness for our families. So here are my tips to stay as healthy as possible during what may end up feeling like a never-ending cold and flu season this Fall!

  • Keep your children home if they are symptomatic or say they are “feeling” sick. Symptoms include (but are not limited to) fever, vomiting, diarrhea, persistent cough or runny nose, fatigue or shortness of breath. With many illnesses, your child is most contagious on the early days of infection (when symptoms are mild). But your child’s immunity is also down during this period, so sending them to school as they are starting to get sick makes them more likely to catch additional bugs, or have a worse case of the current, as their body isn’t getting the time to rest and repair that it needs before being exposed to more germs. Once your child is cleared to return to school, work to lessen and lingering symptoms: e.g., use a face mask or cough syrup to lessen coughing impacts during school and use saline rinses before school to help clear out goopy noses!

  • Continue to report diagnosed communicable diseases to the school once your child sees the doctor. This helps us know what is going around and report to other parents.

  • Get vaccinations now for flu and COVID. They may not prevent you from getting sick, but they should prevent you from getting severe illness.

  • Be PROACTIVE in MITIGATION by staying rested, cleansed, and hydrated.

    • Rested: As I note in my blog post about the Importance of Everyday Things, getting quality sleep is important for our body to be able to fight off and recover from infection. This is particularly true during the early days of an illness.

    • Cleansed: Hand-washing is critical as many of the illnesses are spread through fomite transmission, with children touching a runny nose and then touching a surface that another child or adult then touches. FREQUENT HAND-WASHING is important. In addition to keeping your hands clean, consider cleaning your child’s nose with a saline rinse as well. This will not only clean out allergens and possibly some viruses and bacteria, but many saline rinses also help hydrate the sinuses which keeps them resilient.

    • Which leads us to the importance of hydration. Remember to drink lots of fluids. It helps keep our systems hydrated and flushed. But also keep your skin hydrated. With the heat on, our skin is likely drying out. With runny noses we are likely further irritating our skin each time we wipe a nose. Dry, chapped skin that we scratch or rub a lot is a gateway for infections/germs. So drink water, use some good hydrating lotion on your child’s skin (CeraVe and Aquaphor have some good, hypo-allergenic lotions good for children’s more sensitive skin). And consider using a hydrating saline mist to clean out your child’s sinuses (where lots of bacteria and virus like to hide), that skin is also likely more chapped during the early part of the Fall when the dry heat starts kicking on in buildings.

Tips for Great Parent Teacher Conferences

Successful parent-teacher conferences are all about being comfortable. As a parent, I know they can be a time of high anxiety for parents. As an educator, I can assure you, it is also an anxiety provoking experience for teachers. Teachers, as part of their yearly professional development, are often provided with skills, tips and practice that make the experience easier. For many nursery school parents, this is the first chance to sit down and conference with a teacher about their child. I would like to suggest the following things in order to minimize nerves and make your parent-teacher conference as successful as possible:

  1. Relax, breath, and remember everyone in the meeting loves and wants what is best for your child. You and the teachers are on the same team, and in most cases, have shared goals.

  2. Come prepared with questions and don’t be afraid or embarrassed to ask them. Remember, your child’s teachers have spent a lot of time getting to know your child, assessing specific skills, and preparing for the conference. They are ready to answer your questions and they don’t expect you to be experts in child development (even though some of our parents may be). Your teachers will also let you know if they need more time to observe or allow your child to develop before they answer your question. If you have specific questions you would like to know the answer to during conference time (e.g., applying out, behavioral concerns), email or call the teacher before-hand to let them know what those questions are. This gives them time to make sure they are prepared an can answer them.

  3. Don’t feel you have only this time to communicate with your teacher and that it must all be crammed into this tiny time slot. If you have a specific goal for the conference, make sure you cover it. Any other items you remember later or can not fit in can always be emailed, phoned in, or asked in a meeting scheduled for a later time. Help the teachers stay on time. Nothing makes a conference less productive than starting late and rushing it.

  4. Finally, if the teachers discuss with you anything you need additional information to process, please set up a meeting with them or me for further discussion. We have a wealth of information ready to share with our parents, and lots of ideas on how to follow through on teacher suggestions.

If you have any other questions, or would like more information about having productive conferences with your child’s teachers, please let me know. 

Kristen